So, what do you do for a living?

Aw, thanks for asking!

I am in such a career rut right now. Six months ago I had a nice job as a VP of Human Resources for a little software company, and although it had it's moments, it was a pretty good gig. I worked my ass off to get it, and had to deal with a ton of corporate b.s. and politics along the way, but I was pretty proud of myself and figured I could conquer the world - as much as an HR exec could conquer anything, that is.

Then my little company got acquired by a bigger company and all hell broke loose.

Fast forward to now...sigh. For whatever reason, the bigger company asked me to stay on through a "transition" period. Now I don't know about you, but transition period says to me, "we're going to use you up and spit you out as quickly as we can so that we can toss your sorry, highly paid ass out the door but quick". It implies a short period of time. Right? Wrong. They're idea of transition period was 5.5 months, because they wanted me to help "bridge the cultures" and "ensure a seamless integration" of my former company. It was flattering for about 5 minutes. "To think, they want ME, 'lil ol me, to help THEM ensure that their acquisition is successful? Well, of course they would, since I'm the best thing since sliced bread or reality television!" Then reality truly settled in. Let's face it folks...what they needed was some boob from the old company's leadership team to stick around and do all the shit work that they couldn't be bothered doing, like transitioning files, benefits enrollment, etc. So basically, I'm the boob. I say boob, you say pansy, but whatever the case, that's where I am.

I hate it. I feel like every day I lose more brain cells, and I'm not even losing them for something good, like perhaps a massive drunken binge of some sort. I'm basically an overpaid lackey. A devilishly handsome lackey. Clearly my ego is still in check, thank Christ. But I can't do this much longer. It's hellish to go from feeling engaged and part of something to feeling completely detached and insignificant. In their defense, bigger company doesn't necessarily mean to make me feel this way - they seem to like me quite a bit, going so far as to say they want me to stay for the long-term, but I don't see how that can happen. I'd need to feel like I was part of something in order to stick around, and right now I feel like I'm on Gilligan's Island, minus Gilligan, the Skipper, that cute little Mary Ann and the rest of the crew.

I've been testing the market a bit and interviewed at a couple of places, worked with a recruiter, etc. I'm waiting for a job offer from a company that I really like, but I don't think I'm gonna take it. It's not "fancy" enough for me, and I'm very fancy. I like to be in charge and use my command skills (which is a fancy way of saying I'm bossy and short, much like Napoleon), and this job is second fiddle to the #1 person in charge. Truthfully, it's the only reason why I'd pass the job up, since everything else about it is perfect. I just know myself too well, and know that I could get really resentful with my perfectionistic self for settling when I know I could do better. My former boss, the CEO of my little company before we got bought, nailed it when she said that I can be the # 1 person and work for a great company, I just have to wait for that job to come along.

So for now, I sit here, blogging at work when I should be working on some great, challenging project that makes me think, stretches my abilities, all that shit. Where do I go from here? Hell if I know. Like everything else in my life, work is up in the air and a big question mark for the time being. I hate not feeling settled. Not feeling like I can take a deep breath. It bites the big one, I tell ya. Hopefully the next few months will open new doors and new opportunities and I'll look back on this post and laugh at it all French-like ("fwah fwah fwah, now pass the brie") because it all worked out for the best. For now, I'm going to piss and moan, something I'm really good at, and drag my sorry ass to a place that doesn't really appreciate me or know what the hell to do with me. Now I must go and catch up on my celebrity gossip on perezhilton.com. Ta Ta!