When I was a little kid, the concept of "becoming a grown up" was basically code for "death sentence". I was quite possibly the only child on the planet, or at least on my side of the street, who had no desire to grow up. I clearly recall how horrified I was when I turned ten; the concept of entering double digits was terrifying. It meant that I would soon be a teenager, and then have to go to high school, and then I'd graduate, and then go off to college, and then continue my slow march to death. I remember calculating how old I'd be in the year 2000, and was horrified to discover that I would be twenty-nine years old that year, That meant that the next year I'd turn thirty, and officially become a senior citizen. If I even lived that long, that is.
Yes, at the tender age of ten, I was quite certain my best years were behind me. I was depressed that I had completely squandered all those early years when I should have been enjoying them. Ungrateful bastard, I said to myself. I think that bout of depression lasted until the release of The Empire Strikes Back, which I still say is the best of the original Star Wars trilogy.
Oh how I long for those days where I had nothing to worry about but all my insane obsessions, irrational childhood fears, and who shot JR. I thought I had problems then? Ha! Shit, sometimes I wish I could go back in time and bitchslap me.
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4 comments:
Hi. Just me again.
My husband things I'm a freak because as early as first grade I was so incredibly stressed out and worried that if I died my parents would not tell my school. My friends wouldn't know why I never came back to school. No one would attend my funeral and I would just disappear and be completely forgotten. Every single night as I went off to sleep that is what I obsessed about. Probably until about junior high school. Then I had friends that I spoke to on the phone so I figured if I died and they called they'd find out and let everyone know.
I may need to go back to therapy. :-)
That's some twisted kind of funky you got going on, Mel. Of course I can totally relate :-)
Hey Nick-
Finally made it over to your neck of the woods. I skimmed thru some of your old posts. First off, I'd like to say happy belated bday. Secondly, I am very sorry that you lost your father, but I'm sure he was with you on your birthday and always. Lastly, I am also an only child. It pretty much rocks. Other than being totally effed up.
This, of course, is the perfect segway into today's post... I hope that in addition to worrying about getting older in your childhood, that you tried to make the most of it and at least enjoyed it a bit when you were in the single digits. Or were you already mapping out your retirement and impending death? Were you one of those weird little men who wore 3-piece suits as a kid? Just wondering.
Well, my final comment is actually in the form of a question. And that question is - Who DID shoot JR?
Hey Nick - where have you been?
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